Crossing the threshold

Yesterday, December 14th was a New Moon and Total Solar Eclipse! My husband and I went for a long walk along the edge of our city. I usually walk alone and listen to various You Tube videos or audiobooks. It's been like the movie "Groundhog Day" for me since the Covid-19 Lockdown. I've realized that I need other people in my life even though we love each other. Fortunately, he still has his job and we have an upstairs apartment to rent out. Unfortunately, the renter is having a hard time making the rent. I've been trying to change careers and reinvent myself for ten years. 

Amidst the beauty of nature was the ugliness of the industrial side of the city and garbage strewn on the banks of the waterway. I'm not sure I want to live here anymore. It's really hard to understand what has happened to the people who throw their garbage everywhere and are living out on the streets in tents and broken down, burned out, tarpolined RV's. The social wreckage of those who have fallen through the cracks is everywhere. It's hard to look at and understand how we as a society got here. I'm convinced, it has a lot to do with greed. Corporations, CEO's and those who are at the top of the economic ladder, apparently see everyone else as expendable or servants. 

I live in a comfortable, but old house and I'm in a comfortable but maybe too predictable predicament. We bought a "fixer upper" which still needs a lot of work. If we sold it, a developer would probably tear the whole thing down and divide the lot into at least two, if not three lots. My husband and I bought the house in 2001. We moved in to our first home in early October of that year, just after 911. We have a big yard for our neighborhood and I've enjoyed the gardening and the luxury of having some space. It's been a source of joy, but I have changed. It's nice to have blueberry bushes, a raspberry patch, a vegetable garden and a few fruit trees. The garage which was supposed to become my art studio is not fully usable because it's not insulated yet, but I did share it with some neighborhood teens this year to make art in. We made Vision Boards and protest signs together last summer and watched online art classes at the picnic table with people from all over the world on this laptop! I believe our little art group helped us all survive socially and emotionally. 

My angel card for today is Efficiency. It's the second day in a row I got that card! It's funny because I just want to relax and remain calm and centered since 2020 has been such a slam to the senses. I have a long list of projects to do, of course, but I'm practicing writing and getting my thoughts out there into the world. I've decided that is an important part of my new "job"as well as letting go of worrying whether people will approve of my choices. I'm letting go of my old limiting beliefs about myself and rewriting my story. I'm crossing the threshold of turning 60 soon and I feel good physically, mentally and spiritually. I have a warm house, running water, food to eat, a phone, a laptop with internet and art supplies! For these things and so much more, I am grateful.

The Winter Solstice is next week for those of us in the Northern hemisphere and my birthday shortly after that. I started my new vision board project last night. I'll post it here when it's done..